Cat Flies Car Into Wall:

Speaking of,

Ezra Koenig + French Revolution outfits.

And, is that tape on his Ray Bans?

And then Buffy Staked Edward, The End:

I wish.

Coachella and Ezra Koenig:

Sexy sexy.

Dayplayer "Neverending Summer"

It's John Francis Daley's band! He does vocals and keyboard. Remember when he was all tiny and cute on "Freaks and Geeks"?

Remember When...

It was 2002 and Orlando Bloom was the hottest thing in showbiz?

The Apples in Stereo: "Dance Floor":

Elijah Wood... what?!?! He still exists?!

Tales from Committee 1C: Global Security, as recorded by Jacob Moss:

Jacob utilized his notepad by writing down favorite quotes and letters to various delegates during Thursday evening's debate. They are funny enough to post here:

• "Please sit alphabetically." - Committee Chair

"You mean, like A to Z?" - A delegate.

• During roll call, the committee chair called, "The Republic of Korea," to which the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North Korea), interjected: "I object, the Republic of Korea doesn't actually exist due to a formality!"

• "It's common sense, terrorism needs to be dealt with, so, uh, it's common sense." - A delegate.

• "Could we get a warning before something idiotic comes out of his mouth?" - A annoyed delegate in response to idiotic statements from another delegate.

• A letter by Jacob to his Committee Chair:

Dear representative lady chick director,
You have a hot face, and nice cleavage. Your hair looks soft and your lips look... comfy. But you've got a muffin top and your butt's too big. Lose 10 lbs. and I'll think about it.
Love, Jacob.

• A letter by Jacob to the North Korean delegate:

Dear Korea representative,
Whoops, I mean the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. You grew out your hair, you have lamb chops, you have glasses. I like your quirky personality, but please, save it for your WOW buddies.
Love, Jacob.

• A letter by Jacob to the U.S. delegate:

Dear United States representative,
Good job, everyone here hates the U.S. for some reason. But you always combat those attacks with intelligence and confidence. Thank you.
Love, Jacob.

• To his Committee chair, again:

Dear representative lady chick director,
You look flustered, I could help you relax. ;)
Love, Jacob.

• And again:

Dear representative chick lady director chick,
I just realized that you are funny. Do you need someone to get you a refill on that smoothie?
Love, Jacob.

Who knew that Jacob could be so funny? And for the record, he is a very good friend for sticking out Model UN through thick and thin until the end.

You wouldn't have thought the MUN Conference would be so funny, but it is.

Highlights of today's debates:

• Constant bickering between Democratic People's Republic of Korea and The United States.
• "You imperialist pigs" - DPRK
• "At least we're not hiding illicit nuclear warheads." - USA
• "Point of order. You can't prove that." - DPRK
• In Makena's committee, Poland stood and said this to Korea: "The difference between you and me is that my idea is good, and yours is terrible."
• In Athena's committee, they spent a good hour seriously debating that the solution to environmental sustainability is to A) Invent time machines, travel back in time to the dinosaur age, and then drill oil there or B) Expand space exploration and find a new, clean planet for humans to inhabit.
• While waiting for a computer in General Assembly Two, we filled the time (which ended up being a good hour) by:
• Listening to the Committee chair impersonate T-Pain pretty proficiently.
• Playing with the iPhone app "I Am T-Pain" through the microphone.
• Listening to the Russian Federation's National Anthem.
• Listening to God Save the Queen, as played by the UK delegate.
• Submitting and then debating a resolution to move all nuclear war heads to New Zealand. Because "it is the safest and most neutral country." Most delegates agreed that since no one hates New Zealand, this was a fine proposal.
• In Kela's assembly, everyone declared nuclear war on Somalia, to solve piracy. And then declared nuclear war on France, because they were being a pill.
• Also in Kela's assembly, a delegate made a motion that Jamaica should solve its poverty by hosting a jerky and baked goods sale.
• In Makena's committee, a delegate kept submitting organizations to be formed within the UN. All of these had long, complicated, but official-sounding names. However, when he put the titles into acronyms,they spelled: IDOPE and IROCK. (There was another one, but I can't remember.)
• Jacob got bored in his committee and wrote various humorous notes to other delegates that are too funny to paraphrase.
• A motion was passed in I don't remember whose committee, for a particularly annoying delegate to be only allowed to make comments if they were in the form of a rap or limerick.
  

Basically, Model UN is awesome. There was some actual, serious debate too. However, there were enough laughs and fun-filled times to keep us entertained. I love it.

Feminist Professors:

I walked into my Women in World History class and was not surprised to find a room full of girls and a few boys sprinkled here and there. The professor, a short older women with a boisterous voice and an apparent enthusiasm for exposing female disenfranchisement throughout history, began the class by explaining that boys only sign up for her class to "look at the ladies." "It's okay," she continued, "they can't help being horrible." She jokingly added that the men will have to work 75% harder than the women to get the same grade.

Next, she talked about that if you lived during Victorian times and were working class, it was inevitable that you would be raped. Since everyone was so sexually repressed, men took advantage of any female thrown in their path. If you were a servant in a household, you would be raped by the master of the house. If you were a wet nurse, you would be raped by your employer. If you worked in a shop, you would be raped by your boss. Because, well, every single man on this earth, past and present, is a dirty, rotten sex fiend. And when you had your illegitimate baby, you would have very few options. You could A) keep the baby, lose your job, end up on the streets, and probably die soon after, B) abandon the baby somewhere so it will end up in an orphanage, or C) kill the baby in a few mentioned horrible ways. All this because men are slimy slime balls who can't keep their hands off "the help."

She concluded the class by explaining that the idea that men are smarter than women is absurd. She explained that the most powerful men in history had an ambitious wife by their side being the real brains behind the man, manipulating opportunities for her husband by using feminine powers of persuasion in the right social circle, and overall encouraging him to become great. Basically, these guys were putty in the hands of their wives; they would have been nothing without the help of an intelligent, domineering woman. Examples of these powerful leaders are Napoleon Bonaparte, Alfred Nobel, and King Henry VIII. Somehow I bet her favorite fictional character is Lady Macbeth.

Ahhh, a whole quarter of feminist history.