Sonnet 130:

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
   And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
   As any she belied with false compare.

By William Shakespeare

Reasons Why I Love Being a Woman:

1. Getting to wear dresses.
2. Women's perfumes smell so much better than men's cologne.
3. Getting to wear heels.
4. Feminine wiles.
5. Long, pretty hair.
6. Men are willing to pay for you.
7. Makeup. (Pimple? What pimple?)
8. Men opening doors for you.
9. Soft skin.
10. Not having to pee in front of other people.
11. Not smelling as bad.
12. Nicer feet.
13. We can be terrible at sports, but still be widely accepted in American society.
14. Getting away with wearing tight pants.
15. It isn't considered homosexual to be fashionable.


Reasons Why I Hate Being a Woman:
1. Periods.

That hair.

10 Things People Like That I Cannot Fathom Why:

1. Owl City.
2. Everyone Loves Raymond.
3. Iron Man (the movies).
4. Russell Crowe.
5. The Twilight series (books and movies).
6. Robert Downey Jr.
7. Cottage cheese.
8. Avatar.
9. Times New Roman.
10. Baked potatoes.

Mmm...

Rules to Follow When Debbie is PMSing:

To be adhered to once a month, especially semi-annually when she tranforms into a full-fledged hormonal PMS monster. (a.k.a. these next few days.)

1. Do not joke about the monster, only I can joke about her.
2. Do not play Owl City.
3. Do let me get my sleep.
4. Do not make any comment about weight, size, or pimples.
5. Do not be obviously nice or try to cheer me up, or I will probably eat you.
6. Do make brownies.

I need more of this.

Captain Picard

Sometimes I watch Next Generation just to listen to his voice.