Finding Joy in the Journey:

I went to see a good friend of mine the other day. She is a mother of seven and one of the strongest people I know. I admire her in so many ways, especially for her constant, persistent optimism. Some people may fault her for her optimism, but I perpetually praise her for her unfailing strength to endure. At the same time, however powerful and persevering she may be does not mean that she did not have her moments of complaint; moments when she murmured and questioned "Why me?" to Heavenly Father. I felt the same way. I used be frustrated with God too, and would protest the nearly insurmountable trials after trials she was facing. "C'mon, really, Heavenly Father?," I would say, "Does she really need this? Her life isn't a 'hills' course on a treadmill, she's a good person, a good member of the Church, a good mother, give her a break."

I say that she "did" have her moments because when I visited her last week she related to me her goal to quit complaining. She decided over a month ago to put whining aside. She decided to not even think complaints or criticisms, let alone say them. The result has been miraculous, she said. She has a whole new "come what may, and love it" (thanks, Joseph B. Wirthlin) attitude and it has made a world of difference. The nearly insurmountable trials you face seem a little more surmountable when you don't constantly remind yourself how steep the climb is and how rocky the terrain looks. There is no point to whining. Whining doesn't ease the process. Whining doesn't quicken the recovery. Whining doesn't lighten the burden. If anything, whining may slow the solution if it alienates the people who would otherwise be inclined to help you. Even if you're optimistic and you know it will eventually be over, even if you know that there is a lesson to be learned and growth to be obtained, and even if you know there will be a beautiful view and a sunrise at the top, it does not excuse the grumbling along the way.

As I lay in bed at noon today, not sleeping, but just laying there feeling sorry for myself and hating my existence, I remembered what she told me. I remembered her description of the change she felt. There is no use in murmuring, but there is use in trying to be happy and finding joy in the journey. This is my new goal. It is only January, if I feel like I cannot handle this now then I don't know what state I'll be in by March if I don't try to conquer the depression now. Therefore, you will not hear, "I'm soooo bored" or "Ugh, I miss my friends, I want to go back to school!" from me again. And by "you," I mean my mom, since she is the only person I talk to daily.